Follow Ups

Wow! 

In a couple of days, I will be having my 6 weeks check up following Radiation

 and 3 month check up following Chemo.  

In a way it is hard to believe it has been that long.  In other ways ...  I am feeling better and stronger.  I get frustrated at times, but it is because I unrealistically feel it should be faster.  Some of the side effects of the treatments are slower to leave such as the weakness, achy feeling in my fingers and sometimes obvious numbness in my toes, the nails returning to normal, etc.  However, there are fewer times of noticing the numbness although every once in awhile my toes will have a shooting pain-like a light electric shock; I am doing more and the tiredness is less and naps bring back energy' the fingernails are getting close to being all back to normal; the 2 toenails are beginning to show signs of growing out normally; and my hair is growing and getting thicker and has dark among some gray.  

I am working at trying to be patient and to build "line upon line, precept upon precept" in regaining my strength and stamina, returning to a more active lifestyle, and discovering what my retirement is about.  I know I have "things to do" that are and will be productive and meaningful to me and others.  I am just not sure what that picture looks like yet.  I treated myself to a Jawbone UP 24 for Christmas to help with the strength and stamina.  Benjamin and Suzanna helped me get it up and running, so to speak, yesterday.  The rest is "here a little, there a little".  

As I look back at 2014, it has been a good year.  There have been some very hard challenges and times that were difficult both physically and emotionally, but there have been some really good and touching things as well.  One of the strongest things is the verification and the evidence of my Heavenly Father's love and protective, supportive hand in my daily life.  Another was the outpouring of love and support of my family and friends.  I am so grateful for each of you.  

I am excited for 2015.  I feel it will be a year of with changes and progress.  

Recovering from Radiation and Beginning to Feel Better

Here it is December 3rd, already!  Thanksgiving is over and Christmas and New Years is on the horizon.  It is wonderful to not be going to radiation treatments every day.  The last few weeks of radiation, my skin was very sore in places.  However, it is doing well now. The places that were burned the worst peeled, but that went pretty well and quickly.  Better than I thought it might.  My doctor has said that my skin would be pretty well healed by Thanksgiving and it was.  Tuesday I gave my self the last blood thinner shot.  Yeah!  That had lasted 6 months.  I went for a check-up with the lymphedema clinic yesterday.  I began wearing the compression sleeve last week, but forgot a couple of days.  However, the measurements of my arm were good.  I will go back in 6 months for a check-up.  I believe that the greatest blessings from going there are the knowledge and information that I received and gained.  I learned about it, what to watch for, and how to take care of my arm which is now a weaker part of my body.  I am grateful.
I am feeling better and stronger than I was.  However, I have to be constantly vigilant to not over do and then not feel as well.  I was told at the beginning that it would take 6 months to get  back to normal.  I am having some challenges with vision which seems to be worse when I am not feeling well.  I had a complete eye exam week before last and found my eyes are healthy and doing well.  I am grateful.  At the end of the month I have a 6 week check-up with the radiologist and a 3 month check-up with the oncologist.
I am trying to take things slowly and finding joy in accomplishing more on my own.
Thank you again for your prayers, cards, calls, visits, kind gestures and gifts.  I love and appreciate you very much.

20 Weeks of Chemo and 6 1/2 Weeks of Radiation Completed!!!!!!

All treatments completed-16 of chemo and 33 radiation!!!  Certificate of Completion and Sparkling Cider from radiation clinic.  Flowers came with the thought and feeling from Suzanna, Benjamin, and Shannon that they are perfect to represent the beginning of the rest of my life-a new chapter!

3 More Radiation Treatments

Officially 30 radiations completed and 3 more to go.  It is almost unreal that after Wednesday I will have completed all 33 radiation treatments.  The last couple of weeks have been harder in this round of treatments.  I have been more tired, but also I have had more pain with my skin being sore.  However, the alternating tylenol and ibuprofen have helped a lot along with 98% aloe vera, neosporen+ cream, and Aquafor.  Thursday I noticed that the first sore and very red places are now beginning to heal.  That was encouraging also.
I have postponed my last lymphedema session until December.  It was really getting to me with the pain and the sleeve.  My therapist agreed that I needed to get through these last weeks of radiation and heal before we continue, especially since my swelling isn't too bad.  I continue to do the lymph massage and that seems to keep it doing well.

Prayer Answered

This past week has been more of a struggle than the previous ones.  On Friday the soreness or pain from the damaged skin increased.  Interestingly I prayed that I might know how to take care of my skin and myself better (I have prayed for this often throughout the last months of treatment, as I realized I have a responsibility in all of this too.), later as I thought back over the day, I realized that is just what happened.  While waiting a few minutes for my treatment Friday morning, one of the therapists that I don't see every day walked by.  She asked how I was doing and my skin, I showed her.  She said that it looked pretty angry and asked about pain and if they had given me more on Tuesday.  She said that she'd talk to the nurse and they would talk with me after my treatment.  The other therapists asked me to wait when I got dressed and the nurse would come and get me.  We went to one of the examining rooms.  Dr McCallister wasn't in, but Dr.  Harris was. (I hadn't heard of him before.)  She talked with me and then he came in, looked at my skin and then asked me about and shared with me things I can do to help manage the pain and care for the skin.  It was really helpful.  I'm sure I would have learned more sooner, but I hadn't had much of a problem with it before.  I'm so grateful for prayer and the great love that my Heavenly Father shows to me always.

Moving on with the Radiation Treatments

 As of today, I have completed 23 radiation treatments with only 10 to go!  They are going fine.  The treatments themselves are pretty low key.  I lay on this table and the therapists move me and the machine until we are lined for the proper treatments.  I lay there for about 10 minutes.  There is no pain or discomfort at the time.  However, the areas where skin is against skin gets pretty sore from the treatments.  My skin has held up pretty well considering, but it has been more sore this week.  I am putting aloe from my aloe plant on the pink/red skin several times daily and using Neosporin+ cream on the raw places and on the sore skin.  I just learned yesterday that last 8 treatments are what they call "boosts" where the radiation will be only the area where the lumpectomy was and not the whole breast and lymph nodes under the arm and nearer the neck.  The lumpectomy area isn't the most irritated.  Yeah!  The interesting thing is that the radiation keeps working for a couple of weeks after the treatment, so some sore times are still ahead.
Today I went to a cancer support group which is held every week on Wednesdays.  I had heard of it when I first was diagnosed with cancer, but once I started the chemo, I didn't feel like going.  Yesterday I was not feeling very good physically and a bit down emotionally.  The therapists noticed it and asked if I was OK, of course, I had a little "melt down" and began to cry.  They were really good to me and asked the nurse to talk with me.  That was good because she gave me some good information on several things.  One of those was that she mentioned this group.  I had been thinking about going, but I didn't remember when they met.  Today I was impressed and agreed with the beliefs and thoughts of the facilitator.  He is really good.  There were 10 of us besides him.  He teaches a lot of good, helpful things and especially the philosophy that we are the one who directs our lives.  I will see how it plays out in the weeks to come.  It is sponsored by The American Cancer Society.  They do some wonderful things here for cancer patients and survivors.
I am still very weak, but I usually do something extra each day which I hadn't been doing before.

This is the brush in full color last week on one of the
walls leading to Rock Canyon on the east of Provo.  

Two cute baldies

Nathan and I are seeing whose hair will grow the fastest and longest. I'm beginning to catch up with him!

Update: Approaching the Halfway with Radiation

Today was my weekly visit with the doctor.  My blood work was very good, the other things he checks with x-rays, etc concerning the radiation are good, the nurse said that my skin is doing really well for being close to the end of the 3rd week of the radiation treatments.  So all is going really well.  

I asked Dr MacCallister if I would be feeling tired from the radiation treatments ( It seems that several of the things I have asked about they say the radiation shouldn't be causing that.).  He said yes, I would be feeling more tired from them in the 3rd week.  (14 treatments done, 19 more to go.) He explained that they are doing a lot of damage right now.  When I get the treatment each day, it builds up and continues to work for a couple of weeks,  However, in the next couple of weeks, healing will begin to take place too.  By the time I am at the end of the treatments, there will be more healing than tearing down,  So I could feel really tired after treatments are over for a couple of weeks, but I probably won't.  After the radiation is over, I should begin to feel better pretty quickly.

The lymphedema has been bothering me more the last week,  Not in my arm but in my side.  I still haven't gotten the sleeve that was ordered a couple of weeks ago, so I have to go 3 times a week for treatment and wrapping so that it will stay down.  It is supposed to come next week.

I am not feeling sick like I did with the chemo, but I am really tired and have been fighting feeling discouraged at times.  Those are the times I remember how bad I felt with the chemo and remind myself that I am still sick and "this too shall pass,"  Things are really going very well. 

Week 2 of Radiation Treatments

Sunset in back of my house.  10-07-14

What beautiful days we are having here. The days are warm but not too hot.  The nights are cool and the sun is glorious.  I want to go up to Provo Canyon in the next couple of days to enjoy the  beautiful leaves. The problem is I just don't have enough energy and strength to do a fraction of what I would like to do.  I guess I will have some practice in patience happening.  I am really doing well.  My complaints are minor in the whole scheme of things.
My radiation is going fine. Eight treatments down with only 25 left to go. It takes about 15 min, maybe 20 to get dressed and undressed, for the treatment.  They are on time so I am in and out in 20 minutes or so. Tuesdays are longer as I go up to the clinic to have them draw blood through my port. Thursdays are longer because I see the doctor.  My lymphedema is still doing well.  I haven't found a sleeve to fit right yet, but the therapist took measurements today and was extremely happy as the arm was down from the last time and I had had the wrappings off for over 12 hours. My finger nails are growing out and most of the time the finger tips feel pretty good.  There is less numbness in my toes than there was.  My head has more fuzz on it and my eyebrows and eyelashes are coming back slowly.   In general, I feel better.  I don't have the sick feeling I had when I was doing chemo.  I am really weak and don't feel well if I don't get enough rest or push too hard to do too much.
I am grateful.

Meeting with Oncologists-Month After Last Treatment

I met with my oncologist yesterday.  I am doing really well.  My blood work was very good.  I begin taking an anti-estrogen medication as the 3rd part of the treatment. It is a tablet a day on a long term basis.  Right now it will be for 5 to 10 years. The reason is that the cancer I had was fed by estrogen.  One of the side effects is loss of bone density.  So he is also giving me something to counter that.  His preferred medication is an injections a few times a year, but they are checking with my insurance to be sure they will cover it.  Here is hoping there will be very few if any side effects from the medications.  After we met I made my next appointment which is in 3 months.  For the next few years I will go in for checks every three months.  At that time I will see one of the nurse practitioners since I will be considered not sick-well!!  I really like my doctor, but I really like hearing I am considered well!!!  Dr.Bott and his staff have been/are really good, helpful, and supportive.  As Suzanna said, it will be kind of sad when I go even less, because we have formed good relationships.  

On the other hand, I have just begun my radiation treatments-3 down and 30 to go! I like the radiation doctor as well.  I will have blood work done on Tuesdays and see the doctor on Thursday mornings.  Those who work with him are also all of those things-including nice and considerate.

Today felt like the end of an era and a victory.  A very good feeling.  Reality is that I still have a little over 6 weeks of daily radiation treatments and weeks and months of building my strength.  Dr. Bott said today that it will take about as long to regain my strength as it does for my hair to grow out.  Hummmm!  

Thanks for your love and support.

A Couple of More Goals Met

Today was a day that we have been planning for a few months.  Three month old Leigha Caroline and Nathan Benjamin Graff each received a special blessing at our church service.  In this blessing their name is put on the records of our church as a child of record. {It is not the same as a baptism, since we do not believe that children need to be baptized until they are older,} This has been a goal for me personally, because I have been advised to not be in larger groups until last week because of my lowered immune system.  I also drove to and from Sandy (about 35 minutes both ways), attended the service, and spent some time with Suzanna and the babies.  I did well.  However, I came home and went straight to bed and asleep for about 2 hours.  I think the time was long enough and it was wise to go straight to bed.  I feel much better.

Leigha Caroline, Benjamin, Nathan Benjamin, Suzanna, Sara (SE)
Sunday, September 28, 2014

Tomorrow I begin radiation treatments.  I go to see the oncologist about the estrogen treatments on Tuesday.  There has been a problem getting a sleeve that fits correctly for the lymphedema, so I will be going to the therapist and seeing about that tomorrow also.

Final "Run Through" Before Radiation Begins

Yesterday I had the 2nd of 3 "planning appointments" for the radiation treatments.  Friday is the 3rd one.  It is the final "run through"before the treatments begin on Monday.  I am told it will be just like on Monday, except it won't be the treatment.  It will be to check to make sure all is set up right.  It will be longer-about 20-30 minutes.  Then I will begin the real thing on Monday.
I have an appointment with the oncologist on Tuesday too.  We will be discussing the 3rd treatment which is to include a daily tablet for 5 years, because the cancer I had was estrogen fed.  I will understand more after the appointment.  That is the purpose of the meeting.

First Radiation Appointment and Other Updates

Onward and forward!!!  Last Tuesday I met with the radiologist to learn about the next adventure of radiation treatments.  I found that I will have 33 treatments over about 6 1/2 weeks.  I will go in daily Monday thru Friday for the treatments which will take about 15 minutes.  He told me the biggest side effect is "fatigue". The other one can be burn from the radiation.  I will see the doctor weekly during the treatments and they will do blood work at that time.  I also found that there is preparation before we can start the treatments.  I had one of those appointments last week and another one tomorrow.  The therapist did a MRI and marked my skin so that they can make sure they are lining the machines up right and the same each time.  My understanding is that they will tattoo dots for that purpose tomorrow.  A specialist has used all of the information including what the doctor wants to target and developed a plan.  They will be checking that tomorrow before the tattoos.

I am continuing to feel better and to gain strength.  I still get very tired (way too quickly to suit me).  I went to a special activity for the Primary (our church's organization for children ages 18 months to 11 years) girls who are 8-11 yesterday.  I am president for the stake (9 congregations) and we had been planning it for about 6 months.  It was my first time being in a larger gathering.  We had about 100 girls and 40 adults there. It was so good to be with them.  It was also the biggest thing I have done in a long time.  So I came home and slept for awhile before Suzanna and family came for a short visit.  I could tell that I am feeling better in the way I felt with SE, Leigha, and Nathan.
I began treatments at the lymphedema clinic on Monday (a week ago).  After a lymph drainage treatment-not as bad as it sounds-more like a massage in areas where there are more lymph nodes-the therapist wrapped my arm.  It was harder to do some things all wrapped up from fingers to shoulder, but it didn't bother me too much.  On Thursday, she measured me for a compression sleeve and glove.  They should be here in a few days.  I have exercises to do daily, as well as, wear the sleeve.
Oh, yes.  I have fuzz growing on my head!!!  Yeah!!!
Thank you for keeping me in your prayers and remembering me with cards, emails, helping to keep things nice here at home, etc.  I so appreciate your and your love and service.  

More Strength, Different Activities, and a New Diagnosis

I realized last night that I hadn't posted for almost 2 weeks-12 days.  How time does fly at times!
I am feeling better-definitely better than when taking the chemo treatments.  Last week I was stronger than the week before and felt better too.  Yeah!!!!! This past week I have done more.  However, that is all that I have done besides resting.
On Tuesday I was a little concerned because there was a tender place on the calf of my right leg and a little knot.  The doctor scheduled me to have an ultrasound which proved what we thought, no blood clot and the leg is fine.  Good news!  On Wed I attended a meeting for an hour in the morning and in the evening had one here for about 2 1/2 hours.  Both of these were for Primary (my church's organization for children 18 months to 11 years old) I work with the leaders.  On Thursday I had an appointment with the lymphedema clinic.  My oncologist had referred me earlier, but I felt so bad on the days I had appointments and it wasn't bothering me, so I had decided to wait until later.
I do have lymphedema. This occurs sometimes after lymph nodes under the arm are removed, as they were when the tumor was removed February 28th.  I begin treatment on Monday.  I will have a treatment each day that week with my arm being wrapped, the next 2 weeks it will be 3 times a week, and the next 3 weeks once a week. How my arm responds will determine what else is involved.  I will be fitted with a compression sleeve sometime in that process and the therapist says I should wear it the rest of my life.  Yeah!  :-(  I was just reading a little about it and read that sometimes one might feel it another attack on her body.  That is exactly the way it felt-feels.  I know it could be so much worse and am grateful it isn't.  However, we have to get by the original feelings of things, don't we?
On Tuesday evening I attended a workshop called "Look Good Feel Better" by the American Cancer Society. They have it every first Monday here in Provo, but having my treatments on Tuesday, I never felt well enough to go.  They have samples of make-up for those cancer patients attending to try out and take

A picture of me with a fun wig
with auburn highlighted
hair color. Regret that my
eyes were closed.

home, as well as, instruction on scarf tying, hats, and wigs. Two other ladies were there also and it was great fun.  I tried on a fun wig, was encouraged and interested in the scarves, and tried the whole make-up thing which I hadn't done since I had so much reaction about 7 or so years ago.  The surprise the next day was the left cheek area of my face began to breakout.  I know that coconut oil heals and helps, so I began using it immediately and it has healed almost completely.  So I will be very careful about make-up.  I may try more using only one new thing at a time in awhile,  We'll see.
This past week I also did more in meal preparing and, in general, just felt better.  I am so grateful.  The hard thing about feeling better is that I have thoughts of many things to do and am just not up to doing them.  So I think about doing them in the future.  If I did too much, I felt really tired and sometimes felt "bad" so I laid down to rest and sleep when I needed to do so.
I am so grateful to feel better.  I am looking forward to one day regaining my regular sense of taste, no numbness in my toes, regular healthy finger and toenails, etc.  Oh, yes, I am eager to have normal hair on my head again.  In the last week, I have noticed that there is some hair growing,  It is really fine and like "peach fuzz".  That is exciting, however, I reluctantly decided that I have several months of wigs, hats, and/or scarves ahead of me.
I have heard from various sources that radiation will not be as bad as the chemo.  I am hoping so.  However, I also have heard that fatigue is the greatest complaint.  My appointment with the radiologist is on Tuesday, so I will know more then.
I am so very grateful for the wonderful blessings I have had and still have.  I know the Lord has blessed me in many physical ways, as well as, lifted my spirits when I asked Him to do so.  I know that your prayers have made a difference and I appreciate your love, prayers, and service.  Thank you.

Eight Days Later!!! Celebrate Today!

As you know, my last chemo treatment was last Tuesday-a week ago!  I was so happy and grateful to finally get to that last treatment.  I was a little nervous that I might not be able to have it but all was well.  

I knew that I still had to go through the weekly cycle of that treatment.  It was much the same.  I really felt bad some days, rested a lot, and spent more time in bed than I would have liked.  My fingers and toes felt more weird that usual and some days I felt very "beat up".  However, I worked to stay positive and asked Heavenly Father to forgive me for feeling sorry for myself and to help me stay "up-beat" and positive.  As always He did.  

This week-yesterday and today-I believe I am feeling better.  I don't feel as sick.  I have to be very careful to not over do, because when I do, I feel sick. This week and next I have no doctors' appointments.  Hallelujah!  In fact there are only 2 for this month. I know that will change soon as I will go for radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks.  Today I celebrate today!!!

Thank you for your continued love, prayers, and support.  I love and am grateful for you.  

Let's Celebrate Today!
Celebration flower from the Rowberry ladies
 and sparkling juice from Central Utah Clinic.

LAST CHEMO TREATMENT!

Today was the last chemo treatment!  

There were 16 in all with 4 in part 1 and 12 in part 2.  It took 22 weeks-5 months.  There were 2 times that I couldn't have the treatments because my white blood count was too low.  When I checked up on it, that count was pretty low for the last couple of months.  After the 2nd week I was given shots that helped the bones make more and more quickly.  Last week it was really low again, so the doctor had be take 5 more daily shots to boost for my safety.  Today it was high, but they know it from the shots and not necessarily that they will stay high, so I will be having 5 more this weekend. I'm grateful for a my doctor.  There will be radiation, but today I am celebrating the completion of chemo treatment.

Last EMPTY chemo bag!

The Ringing of the Bell!

More to celebrate with!!!

Becky, nurse who took care of me often.
We had some special times of sharing when
 we knew the Lord was there and blessing me
and others.

Only 1 to go!!!!!!

I had my 11th treatment of part 2 or 15th of 16 in all in my chemo treatment today Wednesday.  My white blood count had gone down to 1.0 which is lower that my oncologist would like, but he felt it would be safe to continue if I have the shots to help speed up the creating of more.  So I will be going in for a shot each morning for 5 days.  I am grateful we could proceed.
I have an appointment to see the radiologist for September 16th and to return to the oncologist to talk about the treatment that blocks the estrogen that I will take in pill form for years.  So onward and forward.
Thoughts today:

• As the doctor asked questions, I realized again that I am blessed with a strong healthy body which is handling the chemo very well.  I am very grateful and blessed.  
• I really have few complaints and even though I feel really bad sometimes, I am very blessed.
• I am so excited to be coming to the end of the chemo treatments.  At the beginning and through much of the treatment, I have had to take it a day at a time.  It was too overwhelming as a whole.  
• Even though that is true, I am cautious about it.  
• It is wonderful to be realizing that I can go to church meetings, wedding receptions, book club, parties, grocery shop, shop for many things, etc. again soon.

20 Weeks into Chemo-? to Go

Another week has gone by and I am eagerly looking forward to the weeks and months ahead when I can begin to regain strength and stamina, feel better, and rejoin the world outside my home.  I am so grateful for family and friends who help keep things up here at home and visit.  Tomorrow I see the oncologist and learn if my white count is high enough to have a chemo treatment.

Last flowers in the yard to bloom.

#10 of 12 or #14 of 16

I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted.
On Tuesday(August 12th) I had another chemo treatment-10th with only 2 more to go.  It has been a little rough having them again after 2 weeks off.  I can definitely tell that I am weaker which is what the doctor said it would be from the beginning.  My white blood count was low again-just .2 above the bottom line for OKing the treatment, so I don't know what will happen next week.  I am to see the oncologist at that time.  That treatment is set up for Wednesday, August 20th.
My fingernails and a couple of toenails are progressively working toward leaving my body.  It is an adventure!

Back on Track!!!

Treatment 4 completed!!!  Only three left.  Yesterday when they checked my white blood count it was high! Where the problem was the numbers (absolute neutrophlis) had to be 1.0, but it had been .8 and .49.  After two weeks rest from chemo, antibiotics in case it was infection in the toes, and daily shots to help it; the result was a roaring success with it being 38.42. I was exploring on the "Follow Your Health" site and found a graph for that and could see that my numbers on that had been going down for a number of treatments. So maybe my body needed a rest to rebuild.  

It was interesting to go back after two weeks off.  It I felt good. I think because I know I am moving forward and there is a completion to this part of the chemo treatment. The whole thing went faster today, because I didn't have to do the blood draw and wait for the lab results, my friend Catherine took me and Shawn joined me for the treatment.  I had a good sleep and rest when I got home, as a result, I am feeling good.  I am in the I feel pretty good, "I can do things", "I can conquer the world" mode right now.  I will more than likely not feel so much that way in a few days.  At least that has been the pattern in the previous treatment cycles. I will try to rest along, that seems to always help a lot.

I am happy to be feel that I am moving forward!!! 16 treatments (18 weeks) completed and 3 treatments ahead.  Then we'll make plans for the following radiation treatments and anti-estrogen treatment.  

Thanks for your prayers and love.

Update

Originally when I wasn't able to have my chemo treatments, I thought I would feel a lot better.  I did feel better in ways, but I didn't in others.  Then my daughters pointed out that I was sick-not enough white blood cells.  Oh, yes!  Since I have been having the daily shots, I have noticed more congestion and some feelings like I had following the first part of chemo when I had to go back in the next day for a shot to help boost the white blood count, but it has been minimal.  I am grateful.  I certainly hope the white blood count is higher this week.  They will draw blood and check it on Monday.
Shannon and her family were with us a little over 3 weeks.  It was good to have them.   They left early Wednesday morning.  It is quieter without them and I do miss them.  They were very helpful in keeping things going here and it was good to have people coming and going.  Now I need to adjust to a different lifestyle again.

 I am enjoying the fresh vegetables from my garden boxes.
I go out about 7:30 or 8 while it is still cooler to water.  It is good to have it do,
but some mornings I am pretty tired when I get back inside.

Blessing-Money Not Lost

July 7, there was a mistake when Shawn picked up my Lovenox.  I wasn't feeling well, Shannon's family had just arrived, and mostly I was in shock to have suddenly arrived in the "donut hole" of part D, the drug part of Medicare's structure in my insurance.  (My prescription went from $9 to hundreds of $$$.)  Even thought I checked with the pharmacy and the insurance company, I didn't realize this problem.  The last few days I realized that my thought that 10 injections cost $227 was incorrect.  It was really for 30 with the graduation into the donut hole, however they only gave Shawn 10-1 box instead of 30-3 boxes.  My call to the pharmacist got me nowhere.  She said that they had no extras and was to get back with me about the cost and if they could help any more. Today Shannon called the store manager.  They reviewed tapes, etc. and decided that there is no way that there could have been 3 boxes in the one sack that went out to Shawn at the window, so they gave her the 2 other boxes.  Yeah!!!!!!  $600 saved and not down the tube! I'm so grateful.

A Few Weeks with the Gourleys

Sure going to miss these 2
when they leave to go home tomorrow!

It has been so nice having Shannon and her family here. Shannon, Andrea, Jake and Gracie (dog) have been here the last few weeks while John went home to get jobs done and to accept an assistant principal ship and athletic director job in Longview for school year 2014-15.  I will miss them all when they leave tomorrow.
They came to help me out.  There have been lots of good things happening including Shawn's late night cookie baking.  Yum Yum

Ditto-No treatment today

Unfortunately, my white blood count was lower today, so I couldn't have a treatment today. To help build it up, I have my first of seven daily shots.  On Monday they will do a blood draw to see where it is.  I hope I can continue with the last four chemo treatments so that I can move on.
This last week has been fine.  I really haven't felt bad.  I kind of don't want to get in the habit of not having the chemo and then have to go back to it.  But what will be, will be.
Thanks for your love, prayers, and support in all ways.

Disappointment Today

Today when I went in for my treatment, I had a disappointment.  My white blood count was too low for me to have it safely.  I was so looking forward to only 3 treatments left.  However, it is still 4.  I have an antibiotic to take in case the toe is a part of the problem.  I go back next Tuesday for Treatment 4.

Newest Development in Chemo's Attack on Fast Growing Cells

It is early Tuesday morning.  I have had some trouble sleeping or I should say staying asleep. When I get to sleep, my sheets rub against or touch in some way the end of my "big toes" which causes a sharp sensation or pain that wakes me up.  This is the first night time this has been a challenge.  I have put some soft socks on and some more DoTerra oils.  I hope that will help.
The extremities-toes and fingers began to be worse last Thursday.  I noticed that my left "big toe" was quite swollen and tender.  My toes have some sense of being numb, but they haven't been too bad.  The nails on these toes have a different color and I believe they will probably come off eventually.  Since then I have been soaking them daily in epsom salt water.  I don't know if it is helping, but it does feel good.
A couple of weeks ago I noticed that my finger nails began to be discolored.  It looked like they have bruises under them.  One of the nurses looked at them when I told her about them and said they will likely turn black and fall off.  How exciting!  Then some of the nails had places of white and I noticed that the nails were pulling away from the skin.  I have been keeping them trimmed back so that I won't catch them.  My nails are shorter than they have ever been.  They are sensitive and I notice that I am careful how I do things with my fingers.  The last days they have bothered me more with discomfort, as do my toes.  Last Tuesday my doctor looked at them and confirmed that it was the chemo.  He said it wasn't very common with Taxol, but that it was with one of its sister drugs.  So much for the norm!  He said that I will probably loose them, but he assured me that like the hair they will grow back.  I have to admit that it bothers me to see them get progressively worse.  But this too shall pass and be only a memory.  I could have so much worse side effects.  I am grateful that I don't.
On the plus side, another side effect is reddish spots on my fore arms and the skin exposed to sun all of these years. My doctor assured me that too is the chemo.  It is healing sun damaged skin and the skin will be healthier than it was before I began the chemo.  A bonus or freebie!

75% Weeks of Chemo Treatments Complete

Today was my 8th treatment of part 2's 12 weeks of treatments.  I began treatments on April 1st, so 15 of the 20 weeks of chemo have been received. They have seemed like they will go on forever, so that it feels a little strange to begin to think and talk of them being over and to be thinking about what comes next.  I met with my oncologist today.  We had a good meeting.  I won't meet with him again until the end of August as long as all goes well.  At that time we will set up the radiation treatments and discuss the medication that blocks the estrogen which feeds the type of cancer I had.  He said that those treatments will begin mid September.

For those of you familiar with Medicare or Medicare related insurance, you may be familiar with the "doughnut hole".  It is when the drug part of the insurance stops paying larger amounts and you pay 79% of generic drugs or get a discount on brand names.  You stay in that stage until you have paid $4400 "out of pocket". This is separate from the hospital and doctors "out of pocket".  I unexpectedly entered the "doughnut hole" the first of this month.  In fact it was a shock.  I was about $2000 from it the last of May. The reason for the dramatic change is the shots I have daily because of the blood clots they found when I was in the hospital mid-May.  I am scheduled to receive them for 6 months-4 more.  Life is full of surprises, isn't it?  Beware of the "Doughnut Hole"!!!!!!

Flowers and pictures of flowers remind me of the many beautiful things in this world and in my life.  One of which is you-your love, friendship, and prayers.

Pictures from flowers in my back yard
by John Gourley.  Thanks, John.

Good Day to Feel So Good

I was so glad that I was able to meet and hold Leigha and Nathan today-one of my good days.  It was great to feel so good on this special day, as well as, see and play with their big sister SE and cousin Jake.

The Graffs-Benjamin, Nathan, SE, Leigha,
Suzanna,and Jake Gourley

Now there are only 5! Special Blessing During Treatment 6!

Today was my 6th Chemo treatment of part 2.  The total number of weeks in all is 20 weeks, since I now  have only 5 left, I will then be 3/4th of the way through these treatments.  My treatment went well.  I was really out of it during the last hour or so, as I get soooo tired when I get the Benadryll.  I came home, ate a bite and then went to sleep.  So glad that Shannon was able to be with me.  After about 2+ hours, I woke up and have felt pretty good. I am grateful.

Today I had a special and uplifting experience.  I noticed yesterday that my "spirits" were sagging a little bit. Today as I sat in the waiting room I began to cry.  I haven't felt like that very often.  I know that I haven't as a result of the many sincere prayers from my family and friends and as I have turned to the Lord.  It so happened that I didn't have someone with me during the first part of the treatment.  Usually that doesn't bother me.  I thought of calling Shawn because I knew he was home and that he would come immediately.  When the nurse called me in, she took one look at me and asked how I was.  Of course the tears came again.  As she took my blood she talked with me and was very supportive.  We share the same religious back ground, so that gave some common ground.

When she finished and went to work with another patient, a sweet lady walked by.  We had exchanged words before and talked a little today.  She told me she was thinking that she was going to quit her treatments because of her circumstances.  I felt very sad for the sorrow and depressed feelings I could feel she was having.  As she left, I looked over and saw a lady sitting near the patient chair beside me.  I had seen her other weeks, smiled, and said hi, but I've never talked with her.  She was there with her husband for his treatments. She asked if we had worked together at some time and that began a conversation.  We talked about many things including family, treatments, a common friend we both know, etc.  I realized that she was one of my special blessing today.  Later another lady came in that we began talking to.  She has a picture and beautiful poem that she is going to bring in and leave at the desk for me, if I am not there when she is.  I realized during that time that Heavenly Father knew of my needs and blessed me with each of these special courageous women. Later when the nurse was starting the chemo treatment to my line, I commented on the happenings and we both agreed that they were blessings of the Lord.  As I was leaving, I saw another lady I had met 3 weeks ago and had the opportunity to say "hi" and thank her for the week we had visited.

Shannon was with me for some of these experiences and the time when I was really tired and "out of it".  I was so glad that she was.  When I got home, she fixed me a bite to eat and I went to bed.  I slept for 2+ hours.  When I woke up, I felt pretty good and have felt pretty good all evening.  I am hoping to be able to sleep.  Tomorrow I am going to see Suzanna and family and to see and hold those precious babies-Leigha and Nathan for the first time in person!!!!    

Update: Only 6 More Chemo Treatments

I am excited as the number of weeks and treatments of chemo gets smaller.  This part of the chemo is not as difficult as the first part.
I was telling Shawn today that I seem to have different lives within my one life. There are the days like the last few where I don't feel well at all.  While I don't feel as bad as I have previously, I seem to work on getting through them in pretty good fashion and don't think very much about other things.  Then there are days when I feel pretty good.  On those days, I think of so many things that I want and think I feel like doing.  I do many of them and love it.  I find it easy to consider doing many things, but I have to remember that my energy is limited.  I find these days exciting and full of energy.  It seems to me they are getting better as I can see the number of treatments to go getting smaller.  However, Shawn's perception is that he can see that I am weaker which is what the doctors have told me would be the case.  He said he can see it on the days I am not feeling well.  I do look forward to the month or so when I have no treatments before the radiation begins. Right now I am not thinking about that.  It will happen as it happens. BUT I am looking forward and thinking that by Christmas, I will have at least some hair again!!!!!!!

Treatment Day

I have been doing some observing and pondering about "treatment day" for several weeks.   I have known for some time that when things are "hard" I don't usually think too much about them being hard.  For  some reason that doesn't empower me.  Later I can be very aware and acknowledge it.
In the week of my last treatment of part 1 of the chemo (mid-May), I realized and thought to myself that these treatments were getting the best of me, in fact the thought was "these treatments are kicking my butt". I don't remember even thinking that before about things.
Although it is reasonable, I still didn't realize that  it was harder to go for them.  A few days after the last treatment, my sodium level dropped and I ended up in ICU very sick.  That was a very difficult time.
Because it is what needed to happen, a week after being released from the hospital, I was back for the first treatment of part 2.  I was more than a bit skeptic that it would be better than I had experienced with part 1. I didn't realize how heavy 12 weekly treatments was to me.  So it came as a surprise to me that I was uplifted more than I had anticipated after that first treatment to find that I had only 11 treatments left.  That number 12 was looking and sounding insurmountable to me, since then each week I have found more hope as the number gets smaller.
I noticed something else those first few weeks of part 2.  I noticed that I didn't feel well on Monday or treatment day itself.  When I saw Dr. Bott the first week of the new treatment, I remember telling him that I just didn't feel well. I had no specific pains or areas of discomfort.  My blood work and exam indicated that I was fine to proceed, but I felt lousy.  I had pondered that Monday whether I would be able to have the treatment and had mixed emotions about what I hoped would happen.  I didn't want to have it, thinking it would be great to feel better with another week without treatment.  On the other hand it would only push the treatments out longer.  The next week, first of June, I felt bad on Monday and went in for some fluid, thinking I was dehydrated.  Somewhere in that week and the ones that followed I began to realize that it was hard psychologically to go for the treatments even thought I wasn't consciously thinking or talking about it.  On the way to one of my treatments, I did talk to my friend about it.  She posed the idea that my body knew it was going to get poison and wasn't happy about it.  I know that may sound a bit weird, but I feel there is truth in it.
Since that time, I have begun to acknowledge that I find it hard to go.  I don't dwell on it.  I just acknowledge that is how I feel.  A few weeks ago was harder than the others had been, so I prayed for the courage I needed to go.  Since I have been acknowledging it, I have felt better on those days.  I don't feel great, but I do feel better than I did on previous treatment days.

This isn't one of mine, but one I received.
I'll try to get a pic of one from my small rose garden.

Surprises from Friends Far and Near and One more Treatment in the Past

Christmas cactus blossom

I love the bright colors of this plant's beautiful blossoms! So I picked it from my earlier pictures of the year.  The plant has been blooming a couple of times a year and the loping blossoms are artistically intriguing.  Having the colorful flowers in my yard and in my home are especially pleasing to me.  I am so grateful to my dear friends and neighbors who are making it possible this year by watering, planting, weeding, trimming, mowing, etc. for me.  They remind be of the old childhood story that I loved of "The Elves and the Shoemaker".  They, like the elves in the story, seem to come in the night, do their work, and are gone before I can see them.  I am grateful and richly blessed.
This week was treatment 5-only 7 more to go.  It has gone like most of the others of this round.  I get really sleepy during and after the treatment.  I come home, eat something, and sleep for a couple of hours.  Then I feel pretty good.  This week I went to Walgreen's to get some reading glasses I have been needing.  ( I am pretty sure using my phone so much these last few months has made that necessary.  When my cataract surgery was done, my eyes were 20/20 and I didn't need them.) Then I went to the grocery.  I hadn't been doing those things. I was really tired when I got home and Shawn put things away for me, but it was nice to do them.  I find that what the doctors have told me is true.  They used the term fatigue.  I say weak. What is, is that I can't do very much before the well is dry and I need to rest and very often feel sick if I don't sleep.  However, I am very grateful that I feel so much better than I did during round 1 of the chemo.  I am able to get a number of small tasks done and enjoy family, friends, and life more.
Thanks again for your love, prayers, cards, emails, and acts of kindness.  This week I received two surprises a card from a high school friend I haven't seen for a long time and a call from a friend of about 20 years ago.  What precious gems!

June-The Beginning of Summer, the 2nd part of Chemo Treatments, and Other Changes

Well summer is officially here!  Time seems to march along at a pretty fast pace.  I love the beautiful sunny days and to see the beautiful flowers and green grass,
Since this round of treatment is not as rugged, I am able to enjoy things more too.  I am grateful.  The cycle seems to be a little different.  My treatments are on Tuesdays.  I am really tired when I get home because of the things they give with the chemo.  Sometimes I sleep for awhile.  When I wake up, I feel pretty good.  Some of the weeks I have a hard time sleeping that night.  Wednesdays I feel pretty good.  These days including Thursday mornings I sometimes begin to think I can do all kinds of things.  I'm learning to stop myself, because it is too easy to over do.  Thursdays and Fridays I don't feel as well and rest a kit more.  A key to how I feel seems to be making sure that I rest,  The miracle of sleep!
This month is also different as my kids aren't able to be around.  Shannon and family have been very busy with Andrea graduating and John and Jake finishing up the school year.  Sheila and Lance just got possession of their first home together last weekend.  This week it has been new roof, preparing for new flooring, painting, etc.  Suzanna is just 2 weeks away from the scheduled delivery of Nathan and Leigha-unless they come sooner.  Shawn works each day in SLC, so he leaves about 8 and returns about 7.  I am being blessed with friends and visiting teachers checking in on me these days,  I love the visits and opportunities to see friends and to get to know others better as they help me with things I don't have the strength to do now. It us good.

Now on the Downward Side of 20 Weeks of Chemo Treatments!

Today is a good day!  It was treatment 4 of part 2 of my chemo.  I am over half way in the total chemo process!
Today I visited with my oncologist for the first time since I have been taking them weekly.  One of the first things he asked was, "How are you enjoying these taxol treatments..." I was thinking, "enjoy" is an interesting word to use?" when he continued, "compared to the first?",  These treatments have been much better.  I am very short on energy and tire very easily.  Then I feel pretty bad, so I try to rest when I get tired and to rest when I am going to have visitors or have some place to go.  I love feeling better, feel like I want to do things, and thinking about life in the future. It is exciting.  There are some side effects.  One that has appeared this week has been some pain and sensitivity in my fingertips and toes.  During the last week of the first part of my chemo, the soles of my feet peeled.  I am encouraged about my blood count.  At the beginning it was good.  After some of the treatments, it, as expected, went down,  (From average range 44 to a little anemic 32 to more 29 the first of this month.)  Today it is back to a little anemic 33.  This chemo is not as hard in this way.  Some days I am really tired, don't feel very good, and don't do very much, but each is better than many of days following the first treatment.  One of the things I have gained in this experience is my love and respect for the miraculous body Heavenly Father has blessed me with. I know I have taken if for  granted.  I also pray for it.  It is working exceptionally hard for me right now.

I have been so blessed to have each of my children available to go with me to those first scary doctor's appointments, tests, been there for surgeries and first days following surgeries, the first treatments and those hard days following them, etc.  I so appreciate them and their sacrifices (and their families'). I am richly blessed.  This month they have family responsibilities which require them to be with their families and Shawn in gone long days in SLC working.  However, I am doing so much better and my dear friends, visiting teachers and home teacher from church are coming in the days following my treatments to visit for a short time and/or do little things that I don't have the energy to do. Again in is a testimony and reminder to me of the great love of my Heavenly Father has for me (each of us) and that He is ever mindful of me and my needs.

Thank you for your love, prayers, cards, emails, and friendship.  It means to much to me.

More consistent Posts Coming

I haven't posted very consistently, because it wasn't very easy on my phone or Kindle and I didn't get downstairs to the computer very often.  This weekend I received this laptop. One of the reasons I wanted it is so I cam blog better.  I am confident it will help.

Over Half Way!!!

\Tuesday, June 10th marked the half way mark of my chemo treatments calendar wise.  It had been 10 weeks since the first treatment and there were 10 more weeks til the last scheduled one.
It has been interesting to me to realized how  overwhelming the 12 weeks if weekly treatments has been.  Once they began and I realized the number was getting smaller, I can tell a difference mentally.  Now I have only 8 more weeks if this treatment!!
Thanks for your prayers, love, and support,

Happy to Feell Better!

I'm back after what seems like a long time away from this blog. 
The day following my last post-2 weeks ago Tuesday-I had the last treatment of part 1 in my chemo treatments.  As normal the first days are rather rough.  Then something happened Thursday evening going into Friday.  My sodium level dropped dramatically and I was taken to ER and admitted to ICU with dangerously low sodium level.  I was there for a couple of days while they slowly raised it to normal and then sent to a regular room for a day. During that time I wasn't allowed out of bed for my safety, so I lost a lot of strength.  On Monday my levels were all good and so they got me up and stable enough on my feet to come home in the late afternoon.  It wasn't an adventure I want to revisit, but I am grateful for those who took such good care of me and the doctors.  I had excellent care.  I am also grateful for my kids who visited daily and/or called.  They are so great in taking care of me.  Sheila was here from out of town during this time and it was good to have her here to be with me and help in many ways.  In the many tests in ER they found that I have 4 small blood clots, so now I have learned to give myself shots in the stomach daily.  Just what I was wanting to learn, right!  Actually it isn't too bad.  I also learned other things too, as it my goal to learn the things I can from my experiences. 
The days following I began to get a little stronger and feel better.  However over the weekend I didn't feel very well again.  Tuesday was the first treatment of part 2.  These will be weekly for 12 weeks.  My doctor has told me that women usually find this chemo to be easier than the other one, nicknamed "red devil".  Thus far I have found that to be true.  I am not nearly as sick and feel better than the other times.  I hope it continues.  I am just really weak which is what I have been told would happen.  I think the hospital visit didn't help either. 
Sheila went home today and I begin the 5 weeks or so with the girls not around.  They each have things that their families need at this time.  I so appreciate them being willing to come as they have for days and weeks at a time.  Shannon will be here again in July.  These chemo treatments are taking about about 5 1/2 months not counting the surgeries before they began.  I am grateful for friends and neighbors who have and are helping also. 
Thanks to each of you for your support through prayers, cards, texts, emails, etc.  They are so appreciated. 

Sunny Monday

Happy Monday!

This weekend I have had concerns with a rapid heart rate.  I went to the ER to be sure.  It seems it might have been dehydration.  They gave me some fluids via IV. Then this morning I woke up in wee hours with the rapid heart rate again.  I am hoping it is not a serious thing. 
Tomorrow I am scheduled for treatment 4 tomorrow-the last of part 1.  I am glad I will be talking to the doctor before that-which is always the case.  
I appreciate so much the notes, emails, texts, cards, prayers, etc from you.  It helps so much to know what is happening and think about your lives too. 

Tulips Among the Irises

 I noticed yesterday that the irises are not blooming too.  How pretty they are!  I hope to get out today and take a picture of them. 

Lilacs and Tulips are Blooming Now

Greetings, 

This is right outside my front door. Love it!   I took a walk a few days ago around the house and took a few photos of the current spring flowers in bloom.  It is great to see the new life of spring with the many blossoms, green grass, etc.  It always lifts my spirits higher. I noticed the fragrance of the lilac trees.  Loved that.  It seems they have more blooms that usual.  

It has been over a week since I last posted.  The last 3 weeks have been harder or at least different than the first couple of weeks.  On Tuesday I will have my 4th and last treatment of the first part of the chemo.  Then I will begin part 2 with a different drug but going every week.  

It kind of feels like I am two people.  I don't notice that until I begin to feel better and realize that I feel like me, think like me, and act like me, even though I am a physically weak me.  The other one, well I guess it doesn't feel like me.  It more or less survives the day.  

I can't say I have become used to my beautiful white head.  It is nicely shaped and without scars and I am grateful for that.  Sometimes it gets cold now.  That is new for me.  I was thinking I might make collage of the hair styles from my life including this one.  That might be fun to do.  I have a wig, halo to wear with hats, and a few hats.  So I have at least 6 or 8 choices of "looks" to choose from.  That's a blessing. 

I am hoping to get set up so that I can compose and write more easily from upstairs (my computer is downstairs) so that I can do it for short times when I am not feeling really well. 

In reality, I am doing really well considering I am taking chemo treatments.  The last two times my white blood count has been good-even high.  Even though I don't feel well at all at times, I am blessed to not be as sick as many experience.  I am truly blessed.  I know that the many prayers are helping physically and emotionally.  I do feel the strength, peace, and presence of the Spirit and the love of my family and friends.  Thank each of you so much.  I love each of you and appreciate your emails, texts, cards, and service.  I am blessed. 

A Beautiful Spring morning!

 What a beautiful bright day it is today!  It is especially cheerful and fresh following some days of rain and wind.  I took this picture a couple of weeks ago in a neighbor's yard.  I had hoped to take more last week to add to my collection, but that didn't happen.  There is this week. 
Thank you for the many birthday wishes and messages last week.  I appreciated each very much and the Easter eggs and baskets.  Thank your for remembering me.
Today I am feeling pretty good.  Last Wednesday night/Thursday morning I found I had a temperature.  It didn't get up to the danger point, however it did get above 100 degrees at one point, so I called my doctor's office to report.  They called in an antibiotic to take  Since then I have had temperatures most of the time.  This morning it is still more than mine usually was, but in the normal range.  I have an appointment to see the oncologist this afternoon and am scheduled to have my 3rd treatment tomorrow.  I don't know how that will work.  My first time with this experience. 
With a week ago Sunday being Easter Sunday, we heard more about our Savior Jesus Christ and His atonement.  Later in the week His atonement came to mind again and I was reminded that the atonement was not only for our sins and mistakes.  It is also for our trials-all kinds, physical, emotional, and spiritual.  I was also reminded that all we have to do is ask.  We don't have to do these things alone. I am grateful for Him.  I know our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live and love us.  All we really have to do is look around us and count our blessings to see the evidence of it.

Another Milestone-Hair Loss

Well, treatment 2 was last Tuesday.  In all I wasn't as intensely sick those first few days for which I was grateful, but the length of time is about the same.  Still not feeling great. 

The big milestone or obstacle of this week has been hair loss.  A week ago yesterday, I began noticing that I was loosing more hair than normal.  Each day there was more.  By Thursday it was coming out quite plentifully.  It was a weird sensation, I would run my hands through my hair and it seemed to just release.  I usually did this over the toilet bowl and it would be covered with dark hair.  However, the gray seemed to come out first.  For whatever reason, it wasn't hard for me to have this happen.  It seemed easier to see it getting thinner.  Thursday night Shawn shaved his head in support for me, but I wasn't ready.  By Saturday, my hair was looking pretty thin, so I wore a hat when Suzanna and family came.  Sunday morning even more was gone, so I asked Shannon to take the rest off.  I was pleasantly surprised to see me without hair, but I am not used to it yet.  I have a wig, some soft hats, and have ordered a couple more to wear outside.  So I am sure I will find what works best for me.  I will post some pictures too. 
Thank you for your prayers and support. 

Monday's Update

A quick update: 

• I am feeling really good.  More energy for longer, etc.
• Yesterday I noticed that I had a lot more hair in my brush.  It is still not the hands full of hair that I have heard about.  I notice that it is continuing today.  I have a idea the time is very near to part with my hair.  Shannon comes tomorrow.  So in the next few days, it will go.  I'll let you know how that goes.
• SE (2 year old granddaughter Sara Elizabeth) and family were here yesterday.  I showed her a wig I have, put on the stocking and then the wig, let her feel it, tried on the hats I have, and let her try them on.  We laughed and had fun with it.  It is helping me to prepare as well as her. 
• Treatment 2 is tomorrow.  A week ago.  I had trouble thinking about it.  I am ok with it now and it will be fine tomorrow.  

Thanks to all of you.  Love you,

The Blessing of Springtime!

What a beautiful day!  In fact every day this week has been so warm, sunny, and refreshing!  I was thinking a couple of days ago what a blessing for me, since I am having this chemo, to have it at this time when spring flowers are in bloom, trees are budding, and the days look so happy and bright.   I know that helps me a lot.

At my front doorstep

Treatment 1 (Treatment 2 next Tuesday) is past history.  I felt really bad through Thursday.  Those days I slept a lot-I think, made sure I was taking the medications for anti-nausea, pain, and allergy to try to avoid those side effects, ate little bits here and there.  I'm grateful Shannon could be here to make sure that happened.  I feel it helped so much.  Friday it felt like "the fog" of feeling so bad began to clear and I have felt better as the days have gone by.  I notice a lot less stamina and feel weakness.  Some of that was already there from the surgeries.  Before the chemo, I sometimes would think when I have the chemo, the wounds from the surgery won't be as tender so that discomfort will be gone.  I realize that is true.

This week I am feeling better.  I can see the advantage of having work or things like that to go to daily.  On the other hand I can see the disadvantage.  A couple of days ago, I discovered some special gifts that I can enjoy when I walked to the corner.  I will take my camera today and capture their beauty.  I came home and got it out and took these gems in my front yard.  Yesterday we had a Stake Primary presidency meeting and it was a wonderful feeling to be doing normal things again with people.  It is a good week. The Lord is blessing me richly.

Week 1 - Chemo Treatment 1

Hello - This is Shannon.  I am Sara's oldest daughter and have been with Mom during this week of her first Chemo Therapy Treatment.  Just a little update on how she is doing: 

Mom is a courageous warrior but she is feeling pretty crappy.   She is resting, sleeping and drinking water like a rock star despite not feeling like eating or really even sitting up much.  She is lying still and is listening to music this morning.  She did have a little tickle in her throat and cough but I started diffusing some oils and that has seemed to help.

The shot they gave her the day after her first treatment puts a request into the bone marrow to make more white blood cells and platelets (ok - I realize this is a huge generalization, but this was my understanding of the nurse's explanation.).  This causes an allergy-like reaction and bone pain in some people.  We have kept up on the meds recommended to ease these side effects and I think for the most part they are helping.

Mom wants everyone to know the thoughts, prayers, flowers, notes, and other helps mean alot to her and she appreciates them.  They certainly help strengthen her.  Thank you all, we all love you and appreciate you.

Here is the link to the website my sister, Sheila, set up to see what needs Mom has each day or week.  This will be a long journey and just as it take a village to raise a child - it also will take a village to help and support her through this journey back to full health. Please go in and see if there is something you can do to help, we all appreciate whatever you can do big or small.  It's called "Sara's Helping Hands".

I personally would like to say thank you as I am farther away living in Southwest Washington.  It is so hard to be far away all the time, but especially now.  So bless each of you and may Heavenly Father bless you for your service, thoughts and prayers for my sweet Mom and our family.  

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Today the Treatment Begins!

I am scheduled for my first chemo treatment today.  Another adventure!  I have been working on the tips I've heard that help with the side effects-like drinking 3-4 quarts of water a day.  I really struggle remembering to drink enough water. I am using the alarms on my phone to remind be when one should finished, two, etc.
I've had a fun weekend.  Shannon and her family from Kelso, WA came  for their spring break this week.  Suzanna and family came on Sunday afternoon. It's been fun.  I attended Stake Council Mtg on Sunday-first meeting I've attended in over a month.  That felt good.  Shannon will be staying for a few more days while the rest of the family go to John's family in Idaho.
Yesterday Shannon and I went to the American Cancer Society's office and "shopped" for hats and a wig.  I found a cute wig and some hats/scarves that I liked.  I am working on letting go of my hair.  Getting the wig and scarves has helped.  So I am moving forward. 
A private site "Helping Sara" has been set up.  The purpose is to let whoever would like to help know what I will be needing like visits, rides, maybe a meal here and there.  When the need is posted anyone who is on the site will be emailed and can sign up for it if it works or if not that's fine.  It worked really well for a friend of Sheila's, so we are doing it too.  The invites to sign up haven't been set up yet, but they will be in the next week.  I don't know what I need, but expect to know better as treatment begins.  If you want to be included, let me know.
 Thanks again for you thoughts, prayers, and acts of kindness and love. 

End of first phase

I am really grateful for this week.  I feel more like "getting things together" to recover from the surgery last week and preparing for treatment next week. It has felt like the conclusion of the first phase and prep for the next.  
What I have learned is that it helps when I take the ibprofen for pain on time, eat when it is time, and rest a lot.  Sometimes I have gotten busy thinking about something or visiting with someone, etc. and miss doing those things in a timely manner.  As a result, I don't do as well.  I guess that can go down as "a lesson in obedience".
Last Saturday was our big annual Primary boys' activity.  I wanted to be there, but I knew it wasn't wise.  As a result I experienced a new joy of leadership as we worked together to prepare and the wonderful people I work with carried out the plans we made together.  It was exciting to hear from them the details of the activity and to see the pics taken there.  I knew again we were all being blessed.  
Yesterday I took a walk in my lawn with my camera and recorded the "signs of spring".  I love spring flowers and buds.  Today the rain to nourish them and help they to grow. 
Thanks for your cards, emails, visits, etc. 

The Port Is In!

Wednesday, March 19th I had surgery to have the port put in.  It is under the skin below my collar bone.  The purpose of it is to receive the chemo treatments and to take blood samples.  No more "pokes" in the arm-nor bruises there. Yeah!  So another success.   Thursday I tried Ibeprophen instead of the prescription pain meds, but in the evening I went back to the prescription-but just one tablet. Friday back to Ibeprophen.
Before the surgery I had been feeling better and was concerned that I would be back to square one, but I actually am not.  I don't feel great, but I feel better and stronger that I did after the first surgery which was weeks ago.  Suzanna and Shawn accompanied me to the hospital.  Benjamin and SE came in the evening and Suzanna and SE stayed with me until Thursday afternoon.

I do well, but get really "wiped out" easily and have to have a nap to feel better.  Ahhhhhhh!  The miracle of sleep!!!